If you have a dream, why have you not yet fulfilled it? What’s holding you back?
Whenever you’re daring to move toward something more for yourself, you’re going to come up against challenges big and small simply because you’re requiring more of yourself than you ever have before.
The thing with a challenge is, it either helps you to grow or it keeps you stuck.
The biggest challenge with a challenge often comes down to how you look at it in the first place.
How you perceive a challenge not only helps determine your success but whether you even begin it or give up part way. It also helps determine how much struggle you’ll face.
Let me explain…
If you look at a challenge as something you have to overcome, the challenge feels hard, right?
That’s because resistance is involved. You’re dwelling on all the work that’s ahead or what’s required of you that you haven’t done before. You feel a need push through your resistance in order to achieve your goal.
“No pain, no gain” becomes your mantra. You’re “in it to win it”.
For some, this is a great motivator. The challenge to overcome something is their driver to do it at all.
Has there been a time when pushing to overcome a challenge was true for you?
Did you enjoy the experience or just the end result (assuming you got there)?
If you look at a challenge as something you’re excited about, achieving the goal is much easier because you’re not resisting it. You’re welcoming the change and allowing the end result to come more easily and more naturally to you.
That doesn’t mean hard work or showing up differently isn’t involved. However, the struggle, pain and dread is not (as) present.
When have you been excited about a challenge?
How did you feel as you moved through to the end?
The tricky bit is when a challenge feels both exciting and hard at the same time; you’re excited about what lays ahead yet you’re resisting taking the actions to get there.
Think about a time in your life when this was true for you. Maybe you wanted to change careers, or move to another city…
What did you do? How did you move through it?
What usually happens is that an inner battle ensues. Pro and con lists are made. Time passes with no change to your present circumstances. You’re frustrated, depressed, and your self talk is well, let’s face it…sh*tty.
The inner battle happens because you’re feeling called toward something more yet your ego is trying to keep you safe. (That’s its job.)
For your ego, “safe” means “in the known”. The bigger the leap you want to take, the more your ego will try to hold you back.
Resistance is ego’s playground.
The closer you are to taking the leap, the more you’ll feel the resistance because your ego is going into panic, fearing you’re actually going to do this.
Resistance can show up as:
- mind chatter such as justification on why you shouldn’t go after your goal.
Your ego will bring up ALL the times you failed…right back to when you were a kid and didn’t know any better. Will it bring up all the times you succeeded? No. That’s your job. Remind yourself of all your wins. This will ease your ego resistance.
- physical manifestations such as sudden ailments, back pain, break-outs.
These can be ways your ego is trying to slow or stop your progress. (Check with a doctor to be sure it’s not something more.)
- emotional upheaval Your emotions will be stirred up.
Bringing up past failures brings up unpleasant emotions making you not want to go through that again. Fear is a biggie, often because we can’t pin-point why we’re afraid. Guilt too: “I should be happy with all I have. Why do I long for something more?”
What can you do when faced with a challenge?
You can feel the resistance and do it anyway (the battle cry of those who feel a challenge must be hard), or you can ease the resistance by ‘talking your ego down’.
Resistance is present because fear is present. Fear is the umbrella under which all negative emotions reside.
Fear loses its power in the face of Love (the umbrella for positive emotions). When you can meet fear with love, your resistance measurably reduces.
A simple question to ask is:
What’s one way I could make this easier?
What’s another?
Another way to reduce fear’s grasp is to interview the fear. Yup, you read that right.
All emotions have an intelligence. They are present for a reason so examine why they are coming up for you at this time.
Ask Fear why it’s present. What is it trying to show you? Acknowledge the worry and thank it for trying to keep you safe. Then play the ‘what if’ game. Counter each fear with “And if that happened, I could/would…”
Challenges present themselves when you’re being called to grow. You can accept the challenge right now or put it off until another time. The choice is entirely yours. But if a dream is waiting to be fulfilled, why not ease the struggle and enjoy the ride a bit more?
Where are you being challenged right now?
How is resistance showing up for you?
If you want some help overcoming a challenge, I’d be happy to help. Let’s chat.
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photo credit: Photo by Nina Uhlíková from Pexels
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