Happy New Year!
I’m willing to bet that you’ve spent some time setting New Year resolutions, intentions, goals and/or plans.
You’ve also likely looked back on last year and wondered where the time went, realizing that many of the goals, plans and intentions you set 12 months ago are still on your list for this year.
Fret not.
Life is a journey. We’re not meant to get everything done.
Once we do finish one thing, we think of the next, and so on…until we die.
I’m not meaning to be morbid, just honest.
The thing with goals, plans and intentions – particularly entrepreneurial ones – is that they often require a lot of courage.
Sometimes it takes courage simply to start!
Your goal may require that you step out of your comfort zone. Waaaay out!
Not long ago, one of my out-of-my-comfort-zone goals was public speaking.
As an introvert, I HATED being the centre of attention. (I still don’t love it, but I’m more comfortable now.)
I pushed myself to attend Toastmasters. I can’t tell you how sick I felt as I entered the room on my first night. However, it turned out to be the perfect place to get my feet wet. To get used to people looking at me while I spoke. To get comfortable with feeling like people actually wanted to hear what I had to say. To realize that I actually did have something to say! (If speaking is something you want to do, I highly recommend finding a local Toastmasters group. It’s a safe supportive relatively unscary environment.)
Once I took that first baby step and attended my first few meetings, I realized there was inner work to do. Where did the fear originate?
For me, it went to back to Kindergarten when I got a group of classmates and I in trouble by telling them to colour an entire picture book when the teacher had instructed us to only colour one picture. When questioned, all eyes and little chubby index fingers pointed to me. She said to my classmates, “Don’t listen to Carolin. She doesn’t know what she’s talking about.” I subconsciously took that to heart, assumed she was right about this and all subjects (she was an adult after all) and so began a lifetime of self-doubt, a quiet voice, and a desire to never be the centre of attention (because that would mean I must have done something wrong).
What I’ve come to learn is that any time we’re faced with fear about a new goal, the fear is our ego trying to keep us safe.
We’re used to how things are. It’s safe here.
Even if things aren’t very good or are even very bad, our ego’s argument is, what if what we have now is better than what we get if we change?
The trick is to calm our ego.
One way is to go through a worst-case scenario list. What if I did do xyz? What’s the worst that could happen? And if that happened, what would I do then? How would I handle that?
When we have solutions, our ego stands down (somewhat).
Looking for hidden beliefs can really shift things too, as it did for me once I discovered the root of my speaking angst.
Shifting that awareness and creating a new belief has changed so much for me.
Soon after, I began a podcast. I am now comfortable doing video. I enjoy meeting with clients and colleagues over video conference. I enjoy connecting with prospects and meeting people on my travels. I even invited a stranger to dinner in Italy so we two solo women travellers could get to know each other and enjoy a dinner of good food and good conversation rather than a dinner alone in a new-to-us town. All of which my former shamed-shy self would have feared, dreaded and never done.
Getting to the root of your fear can give you an entirely new perspective.
I could see that my fear stemmed from my little six year old self trying to make sense of the big new world and how I fit in. It was part of my journey to where I am now.
Had that incident not happened, I may not have been shy and quiet. I would not likely enjoy being a writer (and I love being a writer). Writing is my favourite way to express myself. It gives me time to think about what I want to say and how I want to say it. (Because we all have something to say and we all deserve to be heard.)
That experience helped develop my personality, and I like who I am.
The point is, any time you want to step closer to a goal, you are likely to run into resistance.
It takes courage to start.
Courage to possibly fail*.
Courage to keep going.
Courage to change course.
Courage to say goodbye to the status quo.
Courage to say hello to a new possibility.
And courage to go through the cycle time and time again.
*I don’t believe in failure. I believe in lessons. Failures are merely our own perception that we didn’t hit the target. If you accept the miss as a failure, you’ll have a hard time moving on. If you look at failure as a lesson – and learn from it – it’s called “growth”.
“Remember your dreams and fight for them.
You must know what you want from life.
There is just one thing that makes your dream become impossible:
the fear of failure.”
Paulo Coelho
You’ve chosen the entrepreneurial life. You are brave.
You have begun, and you are still here.
Now, what will you create for the world this year?
Share below, I’d love to know. When you name it, you claim it.
If I can help you in your journey, feel free to book a 30 minute no-obligation call. I offer Purpose Discovery Sessions, coaching and copywriting help. Together, we can get your 2019 goals accomplished.