I don’t know about you, but THIS drives me frickin’ C-r-a-z-y!
Women are socially raised to be givers. It’s a natural thing too. We happily give our time and support to others, often without being asked.
That’s not what drives me crazy. In fact, I’m glad we’re like that.
What drives me crazy is this…
WE DON’T ASK FOR HELP WHEN WE NEED IT!!
What’s with that?!
We’ve all heard the oxygen mask metaphor and we ‘get’ it. We really do. We just don’t DO it!
Why? W-H-Y?!!
Instead we plod on – giving, giving, giving – being strong and independent, like that’s going to win us some sort of medal or something.
Guess what? It Doesn’t.
What it does is drain your energy, sap your compassion and build resentment!
Well Ladies, if this is you, you have no one to blame but yourself.
That’s right. I said it.
NOT asking for help is a choice. Just as asking for help is a choice.
There are over seven billion people on the planet. You Are Not Meant To Do This ALONE!
Read that last sentence again.
That means:
- if you’re taking care of a loved one (healthy or ill) – ask for help!
Ask a family member to spell you off. Hire help. Go to a counsellor for emotional support, etc… - if you’re unhappy with something in your life – ask for help!
Have the tough conversations that will allow you to have more happiness. (Which may mean you need to let go of the standards you’re using as an excuse for why others can’t help you.) - if you want something more for yourself or your business but fears keep stopping you – ask for help!
Find a coach, mentor or counsellor. Growth often requires another perspective that only someone else can give.
And if someone says no, ask someone else!
STOP feeling like you have to do it ALL!
You simply Do Not. And that’s the truth.
Women are natural givers, yes, so lean on your “sisters”. Lean on your “brothers” too; they’re also here for you.
My point is, you don’t need to be as strong and independent as you think. That’s not the courageous route.
It takes courage to claim your deservingness.
You deserve to feel valued and loved. That begins with self-love. Asking for help is an act of self-love.
And yes, it may take courage to ask for and get the help you need. Do it anyway! The more you ask, the easier it gets. Otherwise you’re heading for burn out. And that’s not pretty. Believe me, as a reformed must-do-it-all-myself-er, I know of what I speak.
You have wonderful gifts to offer. Stay hydrated – body, mind and soul – so you can show up fully and shine your best light on the world.
The only way you can get to the finish line AND enjoy the ride is to allow the people in your corner a chance to cheer you on when you need it and pick you up when you fall (’cause you’re gonna fall from time to time).
Drop the armour. People want to support you. Let them; it’s only fair.
[Rant over]
Phew, glad I got that off my chest.
Don’t forget, I’m in your corner too and ready to help. I’m only a phone call away.