I don’t usually watch The Bachelor because something about it has always bothered me but I couldn’t fully articulate it – until now.

I will admit, one year my daughter got me somewhat interested in The Bachelorette. Somehow, that version doesn’t bother me quite as much. (More on that in a minute.)

So the other night, I was watching television and I decided to pull out my colouring book which is filled with inspirational sayings. As I was colouring, my program ended and The Bachelor “After The Rose” began. I was almost done my picture and couldn’t be bothered getting up to change the channel (no remote), so I let it play.

I found myself getting more and more upset.

It wasn’t just because *SPOILER ALERT* he’d broken up with – on national television – the woman he had proposed to and went back to claim the “runner up” – also on national television.

It wasn’t just because the producers invited the jilted woman on to hear her side of things, or that her now ex-fiance was going to be on next – the first time she’d seen him since her national heartbreak.

So what was it – and is it – that bothers me so much about this entire show’s premise?

It’s more than their depiction of women having a relationship (if you can call it that) with a man they’ve never met while living an anything but normal life, being whisked off to exotic locations, given beautiful wardrobes and eating great meals.

It’s more than asking women to put their hearts on the line with the high probability of getting publicly rejected.

It has more to do with so many girls throwing themselves at one guy – the same guy – trying to be “the winner”. Really? You don’t even know him!

*RANT ALERT*

What IRKS me MOST is this:

Why is it okay to have a program – NOW IN IT’S 16th YEAR! – that perpetuates an “I’m better than she is” and “Pick me! Please!” mentality. Followed by a “winner” with how many losers???

In real life – if you were dating a guy who you knew was dating 10 other women (even one other woman) and he said, “I’m trying to see which one I like I best. Prove to me you’re the best – and by best I mean you have to do xyz the way I like it – then I’ll choose”, would you stick around? I hope not! And if you did, at what point would you be saying. “Hey, what about me? What about what I want? Do you fit my ideal?”

I get that the producers create drama to entice viewership.
I get that viewers route for their favourites and stick it out to see who “wins” (and if they were right).
I get all that sort of stuff…

What I don’t get is WHY WOMEN THINK THIS IS OKAY????

This is what I see many (most) women do – not just on the show – in real life:
We focus on trying to “win a man over” with total disregard for how he checks OUR boxes!
And if he doesn’t – WE TRY TO MAKE HIM FIT!

STOP IT! – STOP IT! – STOP IT!!!

OWN YOUR VALUE, WOMEN!!!!

YOU – YES, Y-O-U – ARE THE CATCH!
EVERY SINGLE WOMAN OUT THERE!

(I think that’s why The Bachelorette irks me slightly less. At least the woman is on the choosing side.)

How does this relate to your business?

Two ways:

First: IT’S NOT A COMPETITION!!!

EVERYONE has something to offer.

There is plenty for everyone.

Plenty of clients. Plenty of money. Plenty of opportunities.

When we feel the need to compete with others – for the best product, program, service and/or price – WE DEVALUE OURSELVES!

We’re presenting ourselves in a way that feels like we’re begging for them to pick us instead of presenting ourselves confidently, knowing we offer great value and if we’re a fit, we’ll have a great relationship for as long as it serve us BOTH.

AND when we work WITH others, we INCREASE how we can help and create MORE VALUE for our clients!

Bottom line: THERE ARE NO LOSERS! EVERYONE IS A WINNER with honour and value of all remaining intact!

Second: When you own your value, YOU are in control!

You are in control of what is and is NOT acceptable. (Psst…if it doesn’t feel good, that’s a clue something is off.)

Owning your value means no more:

• giving your services away for free, or charging much less than you want to
• working with clients you don’t like because you’re worried you won’t find another
• believing you’re not as good as someone else simply because you don’t have the scholastic credentials they do. Life is its own Master’s program.

STOP THE COMPETITIVE AND “LESS THAN” MINDSET, WOMEN!! 

Say this after me:

“I am worthy EXACTLY as I am, and I DESERVE to be paid well for the VALUE I bring.”

Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.

Good.

Always remember, you are adored, just as you are.

*Rant Complete* 

I’d love to hear if this triggered anything in you.
Do you often find yourself in a competitive mindset?
How can you own your value more?
Share below.