2021 is finally here! Collective sigh of relief!
Every new year offers the promise of something more. (None more than this year.)
As we begin each new year, we’re more open to possibilities and we envision how things could be better than ever.
As such, many people make New Year’s resolutions. They’re determined that this year will be different: they’ll loose the extra weight, make more money, meet their soul mate… Meaning, they’ll finally be happy.
After a year like 2020, we deserve to be happy, right? Right!
EXCEPT, resolutions can (and usually do) work against you. Here’s why…
Resolutions tend to come from negative energy. The voice behind a resolution says, “Something is wrong with me and I need to fix it. I resolve (am determined) to find a permanent solution to this ongoing problem once and for all, and I’m going to go all in right now!” And if (when) you don’t stick with it — even if you slip up momentarily — your self-talk quickly shifts to self-reprimands, like, “You loser. What’s the point? You’ll never do it anyway; don’t know why you thought you could. Just give up,” and of course you do, feeling worse than before you started.
Habits are hard to change. Harder still when change starts from a negative place.
Instead of a resolution, try setting an intention.
Intentions come from positive energy.
The voice behind an intention says, “I accept where I am and I intend to improve. I’m not broken, however, I acknowledge that there’s room for growth.” And when you don’t stick with it, or if you slip up momentarily, your self-talk is much more gentle because the intention is still there. It doesn’t come from the same “make or break” mindset that a resolution usually does.
An intention has staying power.
An intention says, “That’s okay. I’m still here. Keep going, you’ll get there.”
Feel into the difference in energy (how your body feels) between a resolution and an intention:
-
- I’m overweight and feel fat
- I’m out of shape and don’t want pain
- I’m too poor to do what I want
- I’m sad and depressed
…and I need to fix this once and for all or else I’ll never be happy.
-
- I plan to eat better
- I’m determined to be healthy
- I want to be flexible and pain-free
- I’d love financial abundance
- I want to be happy
Can you feel the difference?
A resolution comes from focusing on the problem. You feel you lack something.
An intention comes from focusing on the desired solution: how you want to FEEL.
Bottom-line: you want to make any change because you want to be happier.
Happiness is a feeling.
You can’t feel better if you’re shaming and berating yourself. You CAN feel happier by moving toward how you want to feel, not by focusing on what you think is broken. Because the truth is, you’re not broken. You’re exactly who you’re meant to be. You just need to line up with who you already are and accept your wholeness.
When you intend to be happy (in your health, wealth, relationships, career…) and continually let your heart lead you toward it, you’ll find happiness in some unexpected places.
What’s one thing you intend for 2021?
What’s another?
Me? I intend to continue to be open to inspiration and let it guide me toward new and fun offerings for you throughout the year. I’m excited to see what evolves next!