Here’s a question for you: What are you tolerating?
What annoyances (big or small) are you putting up with?
What problems are you turning a blind eye to?
What are you enduring that you really don’t like?
Sometimes we feel like we don’t have an option. We feel we have to live with it. However HOW you live with it IS your choice and what you choose can completely change your life experience.
Let’s say your faucet is dripping. Drip. Drip. Drip. Drip. Drip. Drip.
You hear it and it irks you. Perhaps you don’t know how to fix it so you try to ignore it. Drip. Drip. Drip. Drip. It’s still there. You hear it in the background. You hope it stops on its own, after all, it started on its own. Drip. Drip. Drip. Drip. Days or weeks go by. Finally, you call a plumber. In all the days leading up to this, and while you’re waiting for him or her to arrive, how has the dripping tap made you feel?
The thing is, annoyances, no matter how big or small, pick away at us. They pull us from feeling calm and happy to feeling frustrated and angry.
Why do we do this to ourselves?
It’s because we’re often not mindful of how we feel. Or perhaps we don’t think we have control over how we feel.
The fact is, how you feel is about the only thing you DO have control over.
If you’re consciously aware of how you feel at any given moment, and happiness is where you’d like to hang out the majority of the time, wouldn’t you choose to change the things you could and accept the things you couldn’t rather than stew about them?
It goes back to the old serenity prayer:
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.
That’s darn good advice whether you’re religious or not!
Ask yourself this simple question: Do I want to be happy or don’t I?
So what are you tolerating right now?
What about your messy desk?
Would you rather keep tolerating that you can’t find anything and feel cramped or spend an hour or a day tidying, resulting in an inspiring workspace?
…that squeaky door?
Would you rather tolerate it for days (weeks, years) or give the hinge a quick squirt of WD40?
…the pandemic?
Would you rather stew about not being able to go to restaurants and travel or accept that staying home is actually saving lives and the more we each do now, the sooner we’ll all get through this?
Which of each scenario feels better to you?
When you care about how you feel, your experiences can change dramatically.
Now let’s get something straight…
Accepting the things you can’t change doesn’t mean you give up and live miserably. If accepting it means you feel bad, you have a choice before you.
Life happens FOR you.
What are you being shown? What can you do differently so you can accept it in an empowering way and be happy?
As I sit here writing this note to you, the annual fire alarm testing is occurring in my building and within each suite. I really don’t like the intermittent and startling ear-piercing chirps that will happen for HOURS as they test every alarm. I have two choices: 1. tolerate it with frustration and stew about it (dragging others down with me) OR accept it, knowing I can’t change it AND find a way to return to my happy place.
Since I can’t stop them from testing the fire alarms (nor do I want to – safety first!), I choose to accept it. What can I do to return to feeling happy? Well…I usually work from a coffee shop on this day which is not possible this year. So I’m using ear plugs. I can still hear the alarm but it doesn’t hurt my ears. Plus, I’ve made a plan to go for a long walk this afternoon. In the end, it’s not so bad. In fact, I can feel grateful that they’re doing this. I can feel relaxed knowing I live in a safe building and I can get some exercise and enjoy the sunshine.
I invite you to be mindful this week of all the things (big and small) you’re tolerating and how they make you feel.
How can you change your experience with them?
How can you return to your happy place?
Off for my walk…